From the people who brought you Donald Trump's hair...

...comes Jeremy Clarkson's Eyebrows

Jeremy Clarkson, the man’s man, the voice of reason in a world of politically correct madness, that walking, talking curly topped reminder that even a Doncaster lad can make good and have his own world war two aeroplane at the end of his drive to annoy the neighbours, is a big puff. He may not lift the shirt tails of other men but take a look at his portrait on the Top Gear website and tell me that those eyebrows are not the product of time spent with Mrs Clarkson’s tweasers and a protractor. They are perfectly triangular (a scalene triangle, no less) and trimmed to within a grade 2 mowing of a porn star’s mirkin. Yes, it seems old Jeremy is a fully blown metrosexual. Perhaps now we know the real reason 6 foot 7 inch Jezzer backed down in a confrontation with (in his own words) ‘an eight year old hoody’ recently. It wasn’t because he feared suffering at the hands of the Law, as have-a-go-heroes are wont to in this country, it was because he might have broken a nail.