1. Sing Sesame Street’s ‘One of These Things is Not Like The Others’ to the chorus of Foo Fighters ‘The Pretender’. It’ll be in your head for hours.
2. Eat something you haven’t eaten since primary school.
3. Smile at an old person. Better still, wish them ‘Merry Christmas’. Suicide rates peak amongst the over 65s at this time of year. Sometimes a couple of words make all the difference.
4. If you have kids, enjoy the mince pie and whiskey that your children leave for Santa. You’ve earned them.
5. If you haven’t got kids, leave a mince pie and whiskey for Santa anyway. You never know.
6. Wear the oldest Christmas jumper you’ve got hidden at the back of your wardrobe. Smile when people tell you how nice your new jumper looks. You may even get a compliment from the person who bought it for you all those years ago. Say nothing.
7. Avoid the iTunes Store when you’ve had a drink. It won’t sound as good in the morning.
8. Treat someone special to breakfast in bed. Your own breakfast will taste nicer for doing so.
9. A cocktail = two pints. A cocktail = two pints. Commit it to memory.
10. Live in the moment. Forget what you may or may not have done the past 12 months. Forget what you want to achieve in the year ahead. Feel the cold air or the warmth of a fire. Notice the face of someone around you, the lines that chroncile their life. Listen to their voice as well as what they say. Savour the smells and tastes that you are experiencing. In an instant this moment will be just a memory. Make sure it’s a good one.
Merry Christmas.
