The Gus Gorman road to riches

In Superman III Gus Gorman hit upon the genius idea of transfering all the half cents that were lost in the system, when people's salaries were rounded down the nearest whole cent, to his own bank account. Of course, this scam having appeared in a Superman film no one was stupid enough to try it for real. It would be just too obvious and people would know they are being stiffed. Until now. Only now the small quantities of salami slicing (as web literate types know this sort of crime) are deemed to be small change and today's Gus Gormans will take you for anything up to £1-80 at a time if my experiences today are anything to go by.

The first experience was the air machine at a petrol station. Now despite vending in 20p increments, the machine only accepts 20p, 50p, £1, and £2 coins. And it doesn't give change. Hmmmmm. So either I have the right money (a 20p coin) or I can choose to pay up to £2 for my 3 minutes of air. Gus Gorman take a bow.

Fast forward to 10 minutes later. Tyres inflated to the correct pressure I deftly manoeuvre the pigs & bees mobile into a city centre parking space and go to get a pay and display ticket. The minimum tariff is a hefty 70p. Only the machine doesn't give change, so the minimum tariff is really £1 for most people (based on the number of motorists wandering up and down the pavement with pound coins in their outstretched hands). Now if they (in this case Kirklees Council) said it was a pound I could live with it. Granted I would probably be living with it like a chronic Tourettes sufferer, but it's there in black and white and that's the price. But the Council has seen Superman III and they are sticking it to the motorist like old Gus stuck it to the man.

Could this trend catch on? Could we send out invoices rounded up to the nearest £500 and claim that our accounting system only accepts thousands or half thousands? I doubt it.

bloody students

Imran Khan, politician and former cricket star, is also the Chancellor of Bradford University. Following his imprisonment during the current state of emergency in Pakistan the university has started a campaign for his release. Now, this is admirable behaviour. Most of us are happy to tut-tut-and-don't-get-involved when we learn of injustice on the other side of the road let alone the far side of the world. So off toddled the local news team to get a few sound bites from the students of Bradford University. Now here is where it all starts to go a bit Pete Tong. You see, of the half dozen or so people interviewed on camera, only one could muster comments beyond 'It's so unfair' or 'He's our Chancellor' and "I like Imran Khan, he's really popular here'. Only one actually gave an example of Khan's philanthropy and the injstuce of his imprisonment (and one of those interviewed was the Dean). I suspect had you told most of the interviewees that Simon Cowell had changed his mind and Imran would be released and back on X-Factor next week they would have been happy.

Students have always come in for plenty of stick. Work shy lay abouts wasting the tax payers' money and in need of a good wash, is just one such example. The thing that really grates about students is the selective washing up. They will happily spend 5 minutes searching a sink full of cups and plates for the one mug that they have used, refill the sink with the dirty crockery, and wash just their own cup. This is fine when you are living in the squalor of your student house, but not so when you join the world of work.

Innit.