Things that bother me No. 5632

Do the personal culinary preferences of the sandwich maker influence the quality of sandwich you receive?

If they don't like onions am I going to get too many onions on my sandwich, no onions at all, or just the right amount?

Well fancy that.

Apparently, according to Michael Pacher (c. 1435 - 1498), the Devil had a face on his bottom.



One can only assume this made sitting down rather uncomfortable. Which I suppose, after several thousand years, would account for an irritable attitude and this in turn will have gone some way to contribute to the not inconsiderable amount of bad press The Beast has received of late.

Perhaps a faith that teaches understanding and acceptance should feel more sympathy towards one who has suffered at the hands of such a disability, rather than overtly displaying the worrying traits of Arsefaceophobia.

Still more worrying however, is the apparent fundamental lack of ... well... fundament.

Presumably a digestive tract which works from both ends towards the middle and evidently, like George W Bush's Iraq campaign, has no exit strategy, would cause a certain amount of digestive discomfort. It is evident from the picture that this is the case as old Satan appears to also be suffering from a quite a severe case of Anorexia.

I'd recommend surgery, counseling, and a pot of Activia every day.


The offending posterior.

not very cuil

Cuil (pronounced cool) is the latest search engine to announce it is going to open a can of whupass on Google. Being raised on a diet of Rocky films I just can't help but side with the underdog so I cyber trotted off to see how exactly they planned to do this. Typing in 'pigs and bees' had us there in the first 3, or top right on the top row since Cuil doesn't do a list but a magazine style page layout. Nice idea. I clicked some more and I got lots of 'oops we couldn't find that page - please check the URL' messages. Nothing wrong with this except I hadn't typed any URLs, I had clicked on a link on the Cuil website. Oh dear.

Still, one of the founders is an ex-IBM person so maybe it's just Mac users that it doesn't work for. The creative industries will, I'm sure, realise their mistake one day and switch to Microsoft Paint or Corel Draw. Until then we'll probably stick with Google. The search engine which, despite Cuil's strapline, is universally regarded as being the biggest one out there.

Update: a second visit to Cuil and once again I type in 'pigs and bees'. This time, instead of appearing on the front page I'm told 'We didn’t find any results for pigs and bees'.

I bet they'll be ordering extra toilet roll at Google HQ.

Bob's gone camping

No, not Graham Norton style. Living in a field for two weeks. Here's his tent.

a philosophy joke

Is the glass half full or half empty?

Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Traditional wisdom says that if you declare the glass half empty then you are a pessimist. But what if you were on your 5th glass of water in an effort to hit the magic 8 glasses a day and you don't like water? Surely the glass being half empty then would be a good thing, making you an optimist.

Aphorisms.

They ain't what they used to be.