...and here, ladies and gentlemen, is my free gift:
A BT ADSL filter. I had hoped for an apple core. But hey! a free gift's a free gift. Thank you, keyring people. I'm touched.
Friday, 1 August 2008
FABULOUS FREE GIFT!
I ordered some keyrings for a client. The courier has just delivered them. I opened the package to find a small box with 'Mystery free gift' stamped in red letters on it. A slight tumescence began to surge through my happy glands. A free gift. What could it be? It's only a small box but...eagerly I reached for a scalpel. Like a battlefield surgeon I trembled with adrenaline but my cutting hand was steady as a rock. Don't want to damage my free gift. What could it be? Got to get the box open...
...and here, ladies and gentlemen, is my free gift:
A BT ADSL filter. I had hoped for an apple core. But hey! a free gift's a free gift. Thank you, keyring people. I'm touched.
...and here, ladies and gentlemen, is my free gift:
A BT ADSL filter. I had hoped for an apple core. But hey! a free gift's a free gift. Thank you, keyring people. I'm touched.
They think of everything.
This...
...is a left-handed fish slice.
Apparently the difference is in the shape of the blade.
If you don't believe me, have a look here.
...is a left-handed fish slice.
Apparently the difference is in the shape of the blade.
If you don't believe me, have a look here.
Wednesday, 30 July 2008
Things that bother me No. 5632
Do the personal culinary preferences of the sandwich maker influence the quality of sandwich you receive?
If they don't like onions am I going to get too many onions on my sandwich, no onions at all, or just the right amount?
If they don't like onions am I going to get too many onions on my sandwich, no onions at all, or just the right amount?
Tuesday, 29 July 2008
Well fancy that.
Apparently, according to Michael Pacher (c. 1435 - 1498), the Devil had a face on his bottom.
One can only assume this made sitting down rather uncomfortable. Which I suppose, after several thousand years, would account for an irritable attitude and this in turn will have gone some way to contribute to the not inconsiderable amount of bad press The Beast has received of late.
Perhaps a faith that teaches understanding and acceptance should feel more sympathy towards one who has suffered at the hands of such a disability, rather than overtly displaying the worrying traits of Arsefaceophobia.
Still more worrying however, is the apparent fundamental lack of ... well... fundament.
Presumably a digestive tract which works from both ends towards the middle and evidently, like George W Bush's Iraq campaign, has no exit strategy, would cause a certain amount of digestive discomfort. It is evident from the picture that this is the case as old Satan appears to also be suffering from a quite a severe case of Anorexia.
I'd recommend surgery, counseling, and a pot of Activia every day.
The offending posterior.
One can only assume this made sitting down rather uncomfortable. Which I suppose, after several thousand years, would account for an irritable attitude and this in turn will have gone some way to contribute to the not inconsiderable amount of bad press The Beast has received of late.
Perhaps a faith that teaches understanding and acceptance should feel more sympathy towards one who has suffered at the hands of such a disability, rather than overtly displaying the worrying traits of Arsefaceophobia.
Still more worrying however, is the apparent fundamental lack of ... well... fundament.
Presumably a digestive tract which works from both ends towards the middle and evidently, like George W Bush's Iraq campaign, has no exit strategy, would cause a certain amount of digestive discomfort. It is evident from the picture that this is the case as old Satan appears to also be suffering from a quite a severe case of Anorexia.
I'd recommend surgery, counseling, and a pot of Activia every day.
The offending posterior.
Monday, 28 July 2008
not very cuil
Cuil (pronounced cool) is the latest search engine to announce it is going to open a can of whupass on Google. Being raised on a diet of Rocky films I just can't help but side with the underdog so I cyber trotted off to see how exactly they planned to do this. Typing in 'pigs and bees' had us there in the first 3, or top right on the top row since Cuil doesn't do a list but a magazine style page layout. Nice idea. I clicked some more and I got lots of 'oops we couldn't find that page - please check the URL' messages. Nothing wrong with this except I hadn't typed any URLs, I had clicked on a link on the Cuil website. Oh dear.
Still, one of the founders is an ex-IBM person so maybe it's just Mac users that it doesn't work for. The creative industries will, I'm sure, realise their mistake one day and switch to Microsoft Paint or Corel Draw. Until then we'll probably stick with Google. The search engine which, despite Cuil's strapline, is universally regarded as being the biggest one out there.
Update: a second visit to Cuil and once again I type in 'pigs and bees'. This time, instead of appearing on the front page I'm told 'We didn’t find any results for pigs and bees'.
I bet they'll be ordering extra toilet roll at Google HQ.
Wednesday, 23 July 2008
Wednesday, 9 July 2008
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