April Tomfoolery

And so it comes around every year. The day when the national media emblazon some cunningly-disguised spoof article across their collective front pages and entertain us all with the wit that only men with the power of Rupert Murdoch can muster.

This year the BBC showed some imagination with footage of flying penguins migrating to South America. The Telegraph on the other hand, showed none by pinching the same story. The Express had us rolling on the floor with a picture of Big Ben as a digital clock. Oh the mirth. Still, rather surprisingly they didn't try to claim that this was in any way at all related to the death of Princess Diana. Apparently in their eyes, everything else in the world is.

BMW kept up their tradition of posting a spoof advert in all the national papers - this time extolling the virtues of a new piece of technology available on forthcoming Beemers; namely Canine Repellant Alloy Protection. A device designed to incapacitate any weak-bladdered dog who cared to pass water upon your shiny wheels by the delivery of a modest electric current.

The Daily Mail, however, seemed to think we'd all find it amusing to know that Alistair Darling buys National Lottery tickets at his local newsagents. The big joke, apparently, being that he doesn't.

I can't be the only person to think that the Mail hasn't quite grasped the concept of a spoof news article here. Given their political standpoint and usual readership, it would be far more amusing to see something along these lines:




Perhaps they were concerned that if they were to run such a headline, 80% of their readers would cancel their subscriptions. (Given that most of the other 20% are those who would prefer to read a broadsheet, but don't have long enough arms.)

Following this, I suppose they would have to rectify their position by publishing this explanatory headline the next day:



Having done that, they would have lost two-days worth of headline space that could have been devoted to maligning people who weren't born in the Home Counties, leaving their readers with the impression that they'd turned into a bunch of soft Lefties.

Given such grave circumstances it must be with considered foresight that they chose instead to insinuate that that Chancellor of the Exchequer enjoys gambling.

Don't you just hate it when politics stands in the way of comedy.

Global warming and global cooling

Eggs come out of a hen's warm body and lay in the thermal insulation of a straw nest for days until the farmer or his wife collect and eat them. Apples grow in the warmth of the summer sun, basking in its life giving rays for 12 or more hours a day. The local Co-operative stores apples and eggs in the chiller cabinet. Hang on a minute, what do they know that Mother Nature doesn't? 

Good with food? I don't think so. Just the same as the other supermarkets only they don't pretend to be the saviour of wholesome food and fair play.

Oh and the Co-op's beer is always warm. Not enough room in the chiller cabinet.

When a brain scientist suffers a stroke

Dr Jill Bolte Taylor is a neuroanatomist. 12 years ago she suffered a stroke and got to experience her brain from the inside out. The New York Times has a story and a fascinating video of Dr Taylor talking about her experience. Watch it here.

Daily Mail headline watch Day 1

Have you ever uttered the words 'the world's gone mad' as you read about the latest outbreak of political correctness assaulting the sensibilities of every right-minded person? Thankfully we have the Daily Mail to restore the balance. The Mail's headline writers regularly restore our faith in human nature with their ability to get to the nub of the problem in half a dozen words. Even more impressive is their ability to include reference to any women or foreigners in their headlines whatever the story. Let's take a look at a selection from today's Daily Mail. We've put some of our own into the list just to see if we could cut it as a Daily Mail sub-editor. Try and spot the real ones from the fakes. The answer is at the bottom.

1.) Top female lawyer destroyed by City bullies could get record £13 million pay out

2.) British wildlife student dies in front of girlfriend minutes after being bitten by black mamba snake

3.) Pupils to swear oath of allegiance to the Queen or face exclusion

4.) Britain braced for more storms from across the Channel

5.) House prices fall for the first time in 10 years - many blame immigrants for difficulty selling their homes

6.) The primary school where pupils speak 41 different languages

The real headlines are 1, 2, and 6.

Interesting animation

The power of words

Nice article in the Washington Post about the power of words in politics. Read it here.

HTFU and take a chance

Every human existence is judged in reference to every other human existence, now and that has gone before it. You judge yourself in this pantheon of mankind, and the world judges you too. The drunken tramp pissing at the side of a busy road. The despot who orders the murder of men, women, and children. The drug dealer at the school gates. The mugger, the thief, the rapist, and the pedophile. The lazy bastard who hasn't done a day's work in 10 years. Stand them in a row and compare yourself. How are you doing? Feeling pretty good about yourself? Well you are also judged against the great artists, the leaders, the visionaries, and those who define courage. The student who stood in front of the tank in Tiananmen Square. The peasant farmer who took on the Gestapo. The teenager who says 'this is wrong' in the face of peer pressure. How you doing now? 

For the past 10 or so years I've been reading and hearing that ideas are the new currency. Innovate or die. I'm not sure the rest of the world was reading the same things. Mediocrity is alive and thriving. Sure it may not be making iPhone type of money but it's putting Mondeos under the backsides of grey suited nay-sayers all over the country. So what's the problem? People are the problem. Too many people have a problem separating an idea from the person who presented it. An idea may be valid or it may be flawed, that's the nature of ideas and part of the whole process of having and developing innovations (or even advertising that doesn't read like it could have been created 20 years ago). People aren't putting the ideas out there because they are scared that if the idea fails, they fail too because it was their idea. Much as it dismays me, this doesn't come as a surprise. Maybe the stakes aren't high enough. Maybe if the consequence was life or death people would behave differently. I doubt it. I've written here in the past about courage and creativity being linked. The thing that's bothering me now is how the freedom that mankind paid so high a price for in the 20th century is being cast aside. Camus said 'Freedom is nothing but a chance to be better'. If you aren't trying to be better, aren't you throwing that hard won freedom away? HTFU and take a chance.